Not a Quilter

I recently had a very impactful “a-ha!” moment when I read artist Wendy MacNaughton’s ‘Draw Together’ newsletter about perfectionism. She was writing about a book she’d just read called The Perfection Trap by Thomas Curran.

When I read Wendy’s re-cap about perfectionism, there was a part that jumped out at me:

Perfectionist’s behavior: By trying to make things perfect, we attempt to alleviate the shame we feel about that perceived deficit. … Our standards are so high that we work around the clock - or else we procrastinate and never start on things in the first place to avoid any failures.”

So what does this have to do with quilting?

I keep saying, “I am not a quilter.” And I genuinely believe that I am not a quilter. Yet, I continue to come back to sewing now that I’ve started. Yes, I keep buying fabric — because buying more art materials is fun! I also sew. I’ve dabbled in log cabin squares, freehand embroidery, lots of applique, Piecing, Binding, making ‘quilt sandwiches,” learning the lingo. All these quilty things.

What I realized is that I come to quilting, to sewing, most often as a way of procrastination. It is a safe space, a comfort zone, where I can play without expectation or demand. If I am full of fear when it’s time to start - or finish - a new (“real”) project, I find that I’ve been turning to quilting as a thing to do to keep my mind and hands busy. I think it’s my way to delay the real work, the harder work, of being vulnerable to fear, risk, and judgement.

Because I am not a quilter, I can be clear that there are many people who have far more skill and far more to say with quilting, and the pressure I put on myself gently lowers like a slow exhale.