Making the Work
When I started weaving on a frame loom and tying knots four years ago, it was because I wanted to carve out time for myself away from jobs that I’d allowed to fully consume my life and well-being. Making things with my hands, in the peace of my own home, was a gift of time and space away from the demands and expectations of others. And I expected nothing in return from it but meditation, relaxation, joy - a way to learn, indulge curiosity, play, work out puzzles, get to touch and use soft and natural materials.
Spot of Grass, 2021
What ultimately happened as a result of all this curiosity and time was a piling up of things - not only a hoarding of precious materials, but a building collection of woven wall hangings and macrame pieces, then crocheted and twined vessels, then knots. Naturally, to afford the luxury of further making, it only made sense to try to sell pieces to pay for more materials. It had started to feel reckless to spend money without a plan to get money back out of it - as if the peace, well-being, pride, and sense of accomplishment didn’t have value. As if the near erasure of debilitating chronic migraines was worthless.
And yet, I was raised to value financial stability and I held that in highest regard. Thus began a frustrating cycle of trying to navigate the uncomfortable territory of marketing and sales, craft shows, pricing structures, e-commerce, and, worse, photography and self-promotion. I engaged in feedback loops of what might make my work more ‘sale-able,’ and put effort into work that never did. None of this - none of it - actually worked, and none of it squared with the satisfaction I’d originally sought and found in the process of making.
Ray, 2021
And so, in the last year or two, after another terrible craft show, I put away my folding tables, turned off my e-commerce website, and let go of the idea that I needed to pay for a hobby in that way. I revisited my earlier intentions and doubled down.
All this to say that the more I thought about an expected outcome of anything I was trying to make, the less successful I was. The more I pushed, the harder it all felt. I’ve tried to give myself permission to return to a place of curiosity and exploration, time to play a little more and force a lot less. It has been an incredible reminder to see what happens when I put more energy into the process of making the work, versus the effort to get something out of it. Just keep making the work.
The Less We Worry, 2024
